Dreamscape

This weekend I had one of the most vivid dreams that I think I have ever had in my life. It started with me in an unfamiliar dimly lit house. Some kind of very large dining room with a small table in the middle. There were two people at that table that I didn't recognize, I never interacted with them or heard them speak. I then started up a  carpeted staircase and walked down wide hallway, still dimly lit. I then walked up to a frosted glass door with gold trim, I quickly opened the door and found myself in a totally different house. The style, age and color was completely different than what was in the previous rooms. I remember thinking it looked turn of the century and woodsy. 

Next thing I know I walk through another door and was in a place filled with snow covered objects with a light snow falling from the sky in wide open space that had no walls in sight. I walked to what looked like a log cabin, it seems cozy and inviting. As I walked in I found myself in what seemed like stairs in an office building or apartment. Stairs going up as far as I could see, as I climbing I felt a dizzy feeling as I climbed, never reaching the top.

The next thing I remember I am at sea, rough waves all around me. I hover just above the water, hearing the wind and waves around me sloshing and turning around me.

The whole dream felt peaceful and inviting. I remember wanted to quickly get from one place to another like I was trying to reach a destination. It felt completely natural to be going from place to place so drastically different. It wasn't until I woke up that it felt illogical and cryptic. Normally I dreams are boring and about familiar places with me going through everyday life events. This is the first dream I remember where I was in such different places and the first that I remember so vividly, even after I write about it now several days later.

What do I think it all means? Hmm that is a good question. I think some of it has to do with the recent uncertainty in my life. My job situation has been changing back and forth for the past 12 months. I recently interviewed for a job that I want very badly and means a lot to me. Along with that job comes additional uncertainty as its future is completely unknown. I think looking back 13 months ago I would of never thought I would be where I am today. This leads me to believe that have no idea where I will be a year from now. Along with these changes I had a 5 year relationship with Erin end. This was a major blow to me as I cared deeply about her, I loved her. No matter how bad I felt or what was going on, when I saw her and held her in my arms everything was right in the world. Her and I grew together sharing life experiences such as getting a "grown up" job and college. Together they just seemed so much better, and the bad times so much more bearable. I remember the way I felt the first time we kissed. We were saying goodnight at her dorm room door. One of her roommates friends walked out of the door and interrupted us, we smiled and laughed. When I left I felt like I could fly, like anything was possible. I jumped on the stone wall surrounding a fountain and ran along its edge. That feeling of infatuation and love is great and I think something that I miss. I mean who wouldn't want to feel that way? What do I miss the most about her? I miss how I felt when I did something to make her smile, it made me shine inside. I miss pampering her and treating her like a lady, making sure she felt loved.